Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

12 in general

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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