Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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