Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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DEATH.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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