Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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