What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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