Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

thumb_up thumb_down -3

mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

thumb_up thumb_down -3

salad days!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I just threw up..In my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops