A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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