Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

John Cena for president

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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