I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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