How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

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Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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