Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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