What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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knock knock whos there your mother open the door

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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