What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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A whole 'nother.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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