Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

thumb_up thumb_down -5

all these jokes are horrible now

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops