knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down +30

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a Jew A Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +28

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops