Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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Poop.

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a

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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