hi penis ham telephone

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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nothing

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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