I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops