Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are white people white? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your face

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops