How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What's half of 8? o

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops