Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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Womens rights.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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