Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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