My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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