What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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