Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops