Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

what's up? my penis.

Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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