Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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800 people died last year. end of story

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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