A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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- Helen Keller

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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cory is gay

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops