Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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