Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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womens rights.

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lol

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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