A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops