whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops