What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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VITAMIN C!

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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