What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

What did the car do? CRASH!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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