A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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