How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops