What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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