how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ding dong Who's there Electricity

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohellohello

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is funnier than 24 69

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops