Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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kkkk

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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My Nan, that is all.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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