Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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Obama

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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