A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The EPA.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is duke oxtoby? legend.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops