What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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One time i was sitting down

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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