How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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