A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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homosexuals are gay

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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