What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops