Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Men

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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