What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Justin's life

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops