Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Women's rights.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Besides the kama-sutra, what is the most popular sex position in India? 68 and 88. Moral: Mutation people... mutation... use your imagination.., Still gotta feel a bit of envy/admiration, it is known as the happiest nation of the world, with a happiness rate with a constant well over 80 percent, and that is FAR over any other nation.

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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