Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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