There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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