What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops