What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

this last joke was a correction to the other one

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops