Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops