What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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