Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What didn't the artist buy at Best Buy? A Ziploc Bag full of AIDs infested zebra pubes.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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